American English Is Practically A Different Language!

Hey friends here are some of the funny but real U.K ENGLISH To AMERICAN ENGLISH Translations...

A
Advert- Commerical
Autumn- Fall

B
Boot (of car)- Trunk
Biscuit- Cookie
Box- Booth
Barrister- Attorney
Bin- Trash Can
Bungalow- Single storey house
Bum bag- fanny pack
Bar maid/man- Bartender

C
Chips- fries
Crisps- potato chips
Caravan- Trailer
Cupboard- closet
Candy floss- cotton candy
Canteen- Cafeteria
Crumpet- English Muffin
Chemist- Drugstore
Car Park- parking lot

D
Dummy- Pacifier
Double yellow lines- no parking zone
Dressing gown- robe
Dinner jacket- tuxedo

E

F
Fag- cigarette
Football- Soccer
Fire brigade- fire department
Father Christmas- Santa Claus
Flat- apartment
Flat mate- room mate
Film- Movie

G
Gay- fag

H
Holiday- Vacation

I
Insect- Bug


J
Jelly- Jello
Jam- jelly
Jumper- Sweater

K
Knickers- Panties

L
Lift- Elevator
Lead- Leash
Lorry- Truck/semi
Loft- Attic M
Mobile- Cell phone
Maths- Math
Mum- mom
Motorawy- freeway

N
Napies- Dipers
Number plate- licence plate

O
Off Licence- liquor store
Operation- Surgery

P
Pudding- dessert
Pop- soda
Public school- Private school
Pram- stroller
Post Mortem- autopsy
Plaster- band aid
Petrol- gas
Postcode- zipcode
Pavement- sidewalk
Programme- tv show

Q
Queue- stand in line

R
Rubbish- Trash
Roundabout- Rotories

S
Sweets- Candy
Sofa- couch
Shop- store
Shopping trolley- shopping cart
Skip- dumpster
sledge- sled
Swimming costume- Bathing suit
Starter- Appetizer
Stone (weight)- 14 Pounds

T
Trainers- Sneakers
Tights- Pantyhose
Tea- Dinner
Take away- (meal) to go
Tin- can
Tomato Sauce- Ketchup
Toilet- john
Toilet- Bathroom
Tart (person)- A flirt
Trousers- Pants
Tube- Subway
Table Football- Fusball

U
Underground- Subway
University- college
Up the duff- Pregnant

V-W
Video- VCR
Wine gums- English gums
Windscreen- Windshield

X-Y-Z
Year (school)- Grade

Tags: American English, Stupid People, Hilarious, U.K English, Translations, Funny Facts

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Some Examples Of Stupid And Dumb People

1. Recently, when I went to McDonald's I saw on the menu that I could have an order of 6, 9 or 12 Chicken McNuggets. I asked for a half dozen nuggets. "We don't have half dozen nuggets," said the teenager at the counter. "You don't?" I replied. "We only have six, nine, or twelve," was the reply. "So I can't order a half dozen nuggets, but I can order six?" "That's right." So I shook my head and ordered six McNuggets.

2. I was checking out at the local Wal-Mart with just a few items and the lady behind me put her things on the belt close to mine. I picked up one of those "dividers" that they keep by the cash register and placed it between our things so they wouldn't get mixed. After the girl had scanned all of my items, she picked up the "divider", looking it all over for the bar code so she could scan it. Not finding the bar code she said to me, "Do you know how much this is?" I said to her "I've changed my mind, I don't think I'll buy that today." She said "OK," and I paid her for the things and left. She had no clue to what had just happened.

3. A lady at work was seen putting a credit card into her floppy drive and pulling it out very quickly. When I inquired as to what she was doing, she said she was shopping on the Internet and they kept asking for a credit card number, so she was using the ATM "thingy."

4. I recently saw a distraught young lady weeping beside her car. "Do you need some help?" I asked. She replied, "I knew I should have replaced the battery to this remote door unlocker. Now I can't get into my car. Do you think they (pointing to a distant convenience store) would have a battery to fit this?" "Hmmm, I dunno. Do you have an alarm, too?" I asked. "No, just this remote thingy," she answered, handing it and the car keys to me. As I took the key and manually unlocked the door, I replied, "Why don't you drive over there and check about the batteries. It's a long walk."

5. Several years ago, we had an Intern who was none too swift. One day she was typing and turned to a secretary and said, "I'm almost out of typing paper. What do I do?" "Just use copier machine paper," the secretary told her. With that, the intern took her last remaining blank piece of paper, put it on the photocopier and proceeded to make five "blank" copies.

6. I was in a car dealership a while ago, when a large motor home was towed into the garage. The front of the vehicle was in dire need of repair and the whole thing generally looked like an extra in "Twister." I asked the manager what had happened. He told me that the driver had set the "cruise control" and then went in the back to make a sandwich.

7. My neighbour works in the operations department in the central office of a large bank. Employees in the field call him when they have problems with their computers. One night he got a call from a woman in one of the branch banks who had this question: "I've got smoke coming from the back of my terminal. Do you guys have a fire downtown?"

8. Police in Radnor, PA, interrogated a suspect by placing a metal colander on his head and connecting it with wires to a photocopy machine. The message "He's lying" was placed in the copier, and police pressed the copy button each time they thought the suspect wasn't telling the truth. Believing the "lie detector" was working, the suspect confessed.

9. A mother calls 911 very worried asking the dispatcher if she needs to take her kid to the emergency room, the kid was eating ants. The dispatcher tells her to give the kid some Benadryl and should be fine, the mother says, I just gave him some ant killer..... Dispatcher: Rush him in to emergency.

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Gumby Costumed Guy Tries To Rob Store

LOS ANGELES (Reuters) – In the world of animated TV, it's no stretch to say that good-natured Gumby is far down the list of characters that would commit armed robbery.
But a man clad in a full-figured Gumby costume has made a botched attempt to rob a 7-Eleven store in California, and authorities are looking for the suspect, police said on Wednesday.
It happened early on Monday when the man came into the San Diego store dressed as the green claymation figure, accompanied by an ordinarily dressed accomplice, San Diego Police spokesman Detective Gary Hassen said.
The costumed man announced he was robbing the store, but the clerk thought it was a joke, police said.
"Gumby said, 'You don't think it's a robbery? Let me show you my gun,'" Hassen said.
The suspect then tried to reach into his Gumby outfit but experienced a "costume malfunction" and could not fit his hand in a pocket, he said.
Instead of a gun, the costumed suspect pulled out 26 cents in change which he dropped on the floor, police said.
The accomplice, who had left the store and gotten into a minivan, honked at the man dressed as Gumby. He, too, walked out of the store without managing to take any money, police said. Both men left in the minivan.
After their getaway, the store clerk was still not certain an attempted robbery had occurred and did not call police. The store manager, who arrived later that morning, reported the incident.
Police were treating the episode, which was captured on surveillance video, as an attempted robbery and not a prank, Hassen said.
Gumby, a green humanoid figure who looks like an elastic stick of gum with limbs, was created in the 1950s by the late Art Clokey and his wife, Ruth. Gumby had a sidekick, the talking orange horse Pokey.

Tags: Costumed Characters, Los Angeles, Gumby Cartoon, Gumby Costume, 7-Eleven Store, Store Robbery, Stupid News, Funny Things

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The Meal Of Death - Fried Bologna Biscuit !!!

It's a work of mad genius: egg, cheese and fried Oscar Meyer bologna on a biscuit.

This isn't something you need to assemble behind closed curtains at home anymore -- Hardee's is putting this guiltiest of all guilty pleasures onto the menu in restaurants throughout the southeast.

And it seems like they're darned proud of it, too -- at least one restaurant has it on the marquee out front:

"Try our new fried bologna biscuit!"

Take that, Dietary Guidelines!

In case you're wondering, the fried bologna biscuit contains 610 calories, including 390 from fat, according to the company. It also packs 1620 mg of salt, or nearly a full day's worth for most people -- and with 13 grams of saturated fat, you could nearly max out on that delicious-but-deadly substance on breakfast alone.

Eating this is more of a dare than a meal, so if you don't want to take a bite, don't worry.

Tags: Fried Bologna Biscuit, Dietary Guidelines, Morning Breakfast, Delicious Food, Weird News, Hardee's Restaurant, Nutrition

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New Jersey - Hair Found In Cop's Sandwich

EVESHAM, N.J. A former cook at a New Jersey restaurant is getting 15 days in jail for adding an unwelcome ingredient to a police officer's bagel sandwich.
Twenty-seven-year-old Ryan Burke admitted putting his own pubic and chest hairs in the sandwich in February 2010. He pleaded guilty to aggravated assault on a law enforcement officer and retaliation for a past official action.
The Courier-Post of Cherry Hill reports a judge sentenced Burke last week to 15 days in prison, to be served on weekends. He's also ordered to serve two years of probation.
Authorities say the Evesham police officer had previously stopped Burke for a traffic violation.

Tags: New Jersey, Chest Hair, Cop, Bagel Sandwich, New Jersey Police, Restaurant, Jailed, Stupid News, News4jax

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