Funny Insults

For a price you can have anyone in the audience insulted. The better the $$ the better the insult!

• Sure, I've seen people like you before - but I had to pay an admission...
• Hi there, I'm a human being! What are you?
• I've seen more life in a down and out's vest.
• You're red shirt goes well with your eyes...
• Save your breath...You'll need it to blow up your date.
• Shouldn't you have a license for being that ugly?
• Calling you an idiot would be an insult to all the stupid people.
• Folk clap when they see you...but they clap their hands over their eyes.
• You're about as much use as a Betamax videorecorder
• All day I thought of you....I was at the zoo.
• I'd love to ask how old you are, but unfortunately I know you can't
• count that high.
• You should learn from your parents mistakes - try using some birth control.
• He does the work of three men: Curly, Larry and Moe
• Next time you shave, try standing an inch or two closer to the blade.
• If I was as ugly as you were, I wouldn't say Hi to folk, I'd say BOO!
• You've got the perfect weapon against muggers - yer face.
• You got a face only a mother could love...unfortunately she too hates it!
• I heard that you went to the haunted house and they offered you a job.
• Listen, are you always this stupid or are you just making a special
• effort today?
• Sure, I'd love to help you out...now, which way did you come in?
• Anybody who told you to be yourself simply couldn't have given you worse
• advice...
• I heard you were so cool that you began teaching remedial classes at
• Cucumber college.
• Well, they do say opposites attact...so I sincerely hope you meet
• somebody who is attractive, honest, intelligent, and cultured.
• I heard that you changed your mind. So, what did you do with the diaper?
• Why don't you slip into something more comfortable...like a coma.
• You started at the bottom...and it's been downhill ever since!
• I heard that you were a Ladykiller. They take one look at you and die of
• shock.
• Is your name Maple Syrup? - Well, it damn well should be, you sap!
• I know what sign you were born under...'RED LIGHT DISTRICT'

Thanks Thilak