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15 September 2006

Funny Insults

Funny Insults

For a price you can have anyone in the audience insulted. The better the $$ the better the insult!

  • Sure, I've seen people like you before - but I had to pay an admission...
  • Hi there, I'm a human being! What are you?
  • I've seen more life in a down and out's vest.
  • You're red shirt goes well with your eyes...
  • Save your breath...You'll need it to blow up your date.
  • Shouldn't you have a license for being that ugly?
  • Calling you an idiot would be an insult to all the stupid people.
  • Folk clap when they see you...but they clap their hands over their eyes.
  • You're about as much use as a Betamax videorecorder
  • All day I thought of you....I was at the zoo.
  • I'd love to ask how old you are, but unfortunately I know you can't
  • count that high.
  • You should learn from your parents mistakes - try using some birth control.
  • He does the work of three men: Curly, Larry and Moe
  • Next time you shave, try standing an inch or two closer to the blade.
  • If I was as ugly as you were, I wouldn't say Hi to folk, I'd say BOO!
  • You've got the perfect weapon against muggers - yer face.
  • You got a face only a mother could love...unfortunately she too hates it!
  • I heard that you went to the haunted house and they offered you a job.
  • Listen, are you always this stupid or are you just making a special
  • effort today?
  • Sure, I'd love to help you, which way did you come in?
  • Anybody who told you to be yourself simply couldn't have given you worse
  • advice...
  • I heard you were so cool that you began teaching remedial classes at
  • Cucumber college.
  • Well, they do say opposites I sincerely hope you meet
  • somebody who is attractive, honest, intelligent, and cultured.
  • I heard that you changed your mind. So, what did you do with the diaper?
  • Why don't you slip into something more a coma.
  • You started at the bottom...and it's been downhill ever since!
  • I heard that you were a Ladykiller. They take one look at you and die of
  • shock.
  • Is your name Maple Syrup? - Well, it damn well should be, you sap!
  • I know what sign you were born under...'RED LIGHT DISTRICT'

Thanks Thilak
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7 comments: on "Funny Insults"

You suck the sweat off a dead mans balls said...

like seriously? these are lame, i was saying these before i knew how to use the internet, why dont you come up with something funny, for example, you've dissapointed more fat women than jenny craig, cheers

Anonymous said...

Your birth certificate was an apology from the condom factory.

Todays wisdom said...

that was worse than all of them. And who is to say you didn't just learn how to use the internet a week ago, ur intelligence and attitude suggests as much.

Anonymous said...

"(Insert name here) punches catfish!"

Anonymous said...

I don know what your problom is but I'll bet it's hard to pernouce

Anonymous said...

These jokes are older the my grandpas bear skin condoms

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